Saturday 29 November 2008

Tired of being me

There are times when I just get tired of being me. Tired of being the way that I am. With the way that I think and feel. It just gets to be too much. Sometimes. I guess this is one of those “sometimes”.

Actually, we can enter “hate” territory now. I hate knowing that I have caused someone-I-used-to-care-for to turn into a hateful person. And there's no doubting that. Either that there's hate in this person's heart. Or that it was my doing.

What's worse is that I feel this. I can actually understand what is going on. I get it. But that doesn't mean that I will make it “right”. Unlike how I have been exhorted to, by countless many. They say it's easy; just make a conscious decision to change your mind, and you will. You just have to want it.

And that's the crux of the matter, isn't it? You have to want it. So what happens if you don't?

This part I get too. I have been branded heartless. Selfish. Short-sighted. Any number of names, none of which are quite what one would consider encouraging. Now, apparently, I'm also defying God. Eternal damnation awaits me, because I'm not afraid enough.

Oh, to be ignorant! Woe is me, to have a mind that ponders these things, instead of just sweeping it all under the proverbial rug.

Can't I truly be heartless? Wouldn't it be easier not to care?

Why must this hurt me?

And last, why am I even sharing this? It's not like I'm going to win converts to my “cause”. Am I seeking understanding? Sympathy?

I'm not sure. I just have this need to share. Because, maybe... maybe someday this will be necessary. Maybe someday this will be worth something.

For now, maybe it's time to scream.

Monday 24 November 2008

Gordon Freeman to be put in charge of security at LHC

Life imitates art, or, how games have made a huge impact on popular culture/the modern psyche.

Anyone daring to call themselves a gamer knows about Half-Life, arguably one of the most influential games of the modern era. Even if you've never played it (putting you in the minority of gamers), you've heard of it. Even if you're not a gamer, I'd hazard a guess that you've heard of it.

Heck, even the scientists at theLarge Hadron Collider, which is the world's largest and highest-energy particle accelerator, have heard of it. Of course, being geeks, it's really no surprise that they have. (Seriously, people: Scientists -> Geeks -> Gamers. We're talking almost totally inclusive sets, although the reciprocal isn't true.)

For evidence of the above phenomenon, take the jump (below) to see the new security training regimen at the LHC, which has scientists practicing with a crowbar. Serious stuff people. Could save the world, and what-not.

Wednesday 12 November 2008

Video calls come to GMail

Google has introduced video calling to their chat application - but only in the GMail client. They haven't rolled this out to their GTalk app yet. One wonders if that's in the pipeline.

This lets them join the ranks of the other IM apps that offer video calls. The ones that I've used are YM, MSN, and Skype. For some time now though, YM hasn't offered good connections, although they're still the only option for group vid-chat, afaik. MSN quality is on and off, and Skype is mostly spot on for quality.

If the GMail vid-chat app doesn't support Opera, I'm not going to bother even trying it. If it makes it to the GTalk app, I'll probably give it a try, though the quality on GTalk's voice-chat isn't the best.

Thursday 6 November 2008

Browser share stats

Well, it seems there's controversies over how to properly count browser stats. My earlier post still stands; Chrome is making inroads in the browser market. For more detailed stats, tho, have a search. A good jumping-off point is at Wikipedia's entry for usage share of web browsers. And that's where I'm leaving it.

Wednesday 5 November 2008

Chrome makes an appearance

I was just browsing my site stats, and have noticed my first visit from a Chrome user. Said user came over for a short visit just before midnight on 31 Oct 2008, attracted by my mention of NaNoWriMo.

The Chrome browser was just recently released, but already it's made quite an impact on the browser market. Says something about the influence of Google, doesn't it?

BTW, I use StatCounter for site stats, and Opera as my browser. StatCounter is free, and quite detailed. Opera is just cool.

So, anyway, welcome to the game, Chrome! :-)

Election 2008 – and The Age of Holograms!

My sis called me up this morning at around quarter past eight, and told me to switch on the TV and turn it to CNN. I was wondering whether it was a surprise election result. Maybe a swing state went to the Republicans, or maybe a traditional red state went over to the Democrats. But no, she wanted me to check out the hologram they were using! They had one of their correspondents ‘beamed’ over to the studio as a 3-dimensional hologram. I’m not talking get-out-your-3D-glasses kind; I’m talking Princess-Leia’s-message-to-Obi-wan-via-R2D2 kind! Definitely cool.

They used 35 cameras to capture views of the correspondent so they get an all-around view. But I’m more intrigued about the projection system. Still pondering…

Incidently, we’re getting close to an official win for the Democrats.